"finding our families" by wendy kramer was released on december 3rd. it’s december 4th, and i’ve read most of it. it’s an easy read and lots of it doesn’t really pertain to my family, which is a bit frustrating. it focuses on donor families, but nothing (yet?) about embryo adoption. embryo adoption really falls into its own category — not quite donor-issue, not quite traditional adoption. and to keep things exciting, giacomo banjo sort of falls into both categories, because his genetic egg provider was, in fact, a donor.
we registered on www.donorsiblingregistry.com (DSR) when i was still pregnant. we became lifetime members once giacomo was born. i actually communicated directly with wendy kramer by email when i registered because there really isn’t a clear way to list your request if you’re an embryo-adopted child. together, we figured out a somewhat redundant way to request contact from the genetic sperm provider separately from the genetic egg donor. needless to say, we haven’t heard from either.
we are somewhat hopeful that the egg donor will be interested enough to check out the DSR at some point. we have less hope about the couple who actually donated their remaining embryos. we have been told that when they donated the embryos they were not at all interested in learning more about any children who might result, but were directed to the DSR if they ever changed their minds in the future.
it is still my greatest wish for him that he have the opportunity to connect with his genetic providers one day. fingers crossed…
UPDATE: i just checked the DSR and received a message from the mother of one of giacomo’s half siblings. i learned that he has a genetically related half-brother, named “max” who was born in january 2013 — one year after giacomo. giacomo’s egg donor was in fact, a returning donor, meaning she had donated once before, apparently to a family who then went on to donate their remaining embryos, just like giacomo’s genetic sperm provider’s family did. i am pretty much freaking out right now.